incenses:

Rasceta; The creases on the inside of the wrist.

knismesis; Light tickling

petrichor;    The smell of rain on dry ground

psithurism;    The sound of wind in trees or rustling leaves

clithridiate ;      Key-hole-shaped

grapholagnia;   The urge to stare at obscene pictures

baisemain; kiss on the hand

gymnophoria;  The sensation that someone is mentally undressing you

inaniloquent; 
Speaking foolishly or saying silly things

I’ve fallen into sort of a routine. A set of expectations. People always grow tired of me. No matter how much time or energy I commit into a friendship, or any relationship, they’ll get tired of me. I’m always on the lookout for that ‘someone better’ that will inevitably replace me. One could say that is self defeating. No, I just learned thats how it happened. At first it caught me blindsided. But then I eventually noticed when their attention began to wane, they began to become bored with me, their eyes started to drift to more exciting individuals to share their time with. And when I noticed it, I began looking for it. I was originally so defensive, but then I couldn’t fight the inevitable. I was phased out of their lives and memories. Which always happens. Like clockwork. Its kind of why I try and latch onto as many acquaintances as possible, try and initiate as many friendships as I can. Because I know I’ll be cut off surely enough.

But its so much worse when you realize you expire for everyone at the same time. Then there’s no net to catch you. Its like being left in a cold empty room and the lights were just turned off. No one to share the space with you. Only you and your twiddling thumbs.

Its funny really. I’m that guy that everyone supposedly knows. I’m surrounded by people. But…I’m not anyone’s best friend. I am not extremely special to any one person. I am no one’s priority. My happiness is always tertiary. I…I just am this pathetic sack of blood and DNA.

Haha, its a little bit sad actually. I have no one to talk to so I talk to the screen. I post this online half knowing, half hoping someone can read this and commiserate. I’m so desperate for decent human interaction. Its sad and its corny but I want a friend so badly. I just want someone to care about me.

Yea..me neither. -twiddles thumbs in the dark-

i never really liked

my name 

much

until i found out 

what it tastes like 

when you sigh it 

into my

mouth

(Source: oceanicforest)